Calculated in Death (JD Robb)

Available from all good bookstores and on the Kindle

Hmmm. I’m a long-term fan of JD Robb (even though I hate the writing of her alter ego, Nora Roberts). To prove to you the extent of my fandom, here’s the evidence: I named my cat Dallas, after Lieutenant Eve Dallas, Robbs’ protagonist.

Buuut… Robbs’ writing is starting to annoy me lately, for four reasons:

a)    It’s getting very formulaic.

Something bad and bloody happens, in one of Hot Hubby’s empire of locations. Eve, despite constantly battling her own inner demons, enlists Hot Hubby, her faithful sidekick Peabody, the tea-drinking Dr Mira and the usual assortment of allies. She then allows Hot Hubby to choose her clothes/deck her out for a function she doesn’t want to go to, force her to eat and sleep, have jaw-dropping sex with her on the shower floor/in the pool, and provide genius assistance in catching the bad guy. Whose ass she (literally) hands to him before sending him off-planet for, like, ever.

b)    The sex scenes are dreadful.

“When she rose over him, her skin gleaming in the last red lights of the dying sun, he was beyond speech. Now her fingers linked with his, and she took him in. She bowed back, her body a slim and lovely arch of energy, and it shuddered, shuddered, as his did. Then she shifted her gaze, fixed her eyes on his. And rode.” – Portrait in Death

Seriously? It’s all getting a bit 50 Shades for me. And before you ask, no, I haven’t read it. But I’ve been told that there’s lots of “She shattered into a million pieces.”

c)    Eve Dallas thinks in phrases.

“Six hours before, she'd killed a man, had watched death creep into his eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd exercised maximum force, or dreamed. But it was the child that haunted her. The child she hadn't been in time to save. The child whose screams had echoed in the dreams with her own.” – Naked in Death

I’m getting a bit bored with the way Eve’s inner monologue moves; specifically, the constant and repetitive use of sentence fragments to add drama. She grumps, grumbles, whines, deflects and generally behaves like a massive curmudgeon, only showing a small sense of humour while being ravished by Hot Hubby. Boring.

d)    The futuristic stuff is dwindling.

The early books had great detail about cars that fly and weird GM foods and crazy fashion. The later ones, specifically Calculated in Death, is a bit short on it. Which is a pity. Because if I’m going to read 37 books set in and around the year 2060, you’d better believe I’m going to need some awesome tech stuff to keep me interested.

If you’re going to read this book, despite my indictment, you should know the plot:

A dead woman lies at the bottom of the stairs. Mugged, apparently. But Eve and Peabody find blood inside the apartment building, and evidence of a hit. Problem is, Marta, the vic, isn’t the ‘sort’ to be on a hit list. She’s a boring, well-to-do accountant. Eve enters Roarke’s world of big billionaire business to find the money trail.

I’d love to know what you think -> tiffany@tiffanymarkman.co.za

Guilt (Jonathan Kellerman)

Available from all good bookstores and on the Kindle

Now this is crime fiction! 

Kellerman never misses. Yes, he’s written 28 Alex Delaware novels, but each one is different. And while Alex (and his cohorts, to be fair) has his particular quirks, we see different facets of his character each time.

This, Kellerman’s latest offering, begins with an expectant mom who’s renovating her yard when she finds a blue metal box in the soil. There’s a baby’s skeleton in it.

Alex and his partner, Los Angeles Police Lt. Milo Sturgis, begin to hunt for clues to the infant’s identity, but the bones of another baby emerge in a nearby park. Together with the corpse of a 20-something woman, killed by a gunshot. 

The three must be related, but how and why? The detective and psychologist delve sixty years into the past, to explore a former hospital with a dangerous staff and reputation.

Expect the usual brisk investigation, with the calm, cool and seldom-ruffled Alex bantering with the grouchy, touchy, binge-eating Milo. Expect a series of tense and detailed scenes and evocative dialogue. Expect the entrance of Hollywood and its own dramas. And expect a case so heart-rending that brings even Alex to tears.

www.tiffanymarkman

I'll Catch You (Jesse Kellerman)

This novel is, in a word, dreadful. In fact, the entire time I was reading it, I wondered if it was the writer's idea of a joke. 

And then, in preparation for my review, I looked up some of the author's inspiration for I'll Catch You: 

"This book started as a joke. I was at work on something much longer and darker, and to relieve some of the mental pressure I started noodling around with an idea that had occurred to me late one night while on tour for The Executor: to write a book that functions simultaneously as a thriller and a parody of a thriller."

Makes sense. But may I suggest that the next time Jesse Kellerman feels the urge to make a joke, he not burden the reading public with it in print form. That's what blogs are for. 

This book is, seriously, a waste of good trees. Simple as that. If you don't believe me, make your decision based on the blurb (which should warn you):

"We want to tell you more about this novel. We wish we could explain how spectacular and absolutely unexpected it is; how it will burn itself onto your brain for ever. But we could never do it justice. The only way you'll understand it is to read it."

Whatever. The bottom line is that if I'd known what it was about, I'd not have read it. Especially not after Kellerman's execrable The Executor. Don't believe me? Well, here's the actual plot:
 
When the world's bestselling writer of spy thrillers, William de Vallée, vanishes from his yacht while sailing, his estranged best friend and (unsuccessful) fellow writer Arthur Pfefferkorn decides to pick up where de Vallée left off - with an unfinished final manuscript and a beautiful widow. But this impulsive decision is about to change his life for ever, as he becomes embroiled in the political intrigues of East and West Zlabia - and learns to speak, think and eat Zlabian.

This book is dire. Sorry.

www.tiffanymarkman.co.za

Mad River (John Sandford)

This novel, the latest John Sandford, is very Bonnie ‘n Clyde, except that the loved-up couple also has a moronic sidekick. 

All three of the dead-end teens are absolutely crackers and they’re killing people all over rural Minnesota, just for the hell of it.

But BCA agent Virgil Flowers, one of my top 5 literary heroes (largely because he’s also a nut job; imagine a poetry-writing Matt McConaughey in a rock ‘n roll T-shirt, without a gun) is on the job. And trying to out-run a host of moronic cops.

Here’s a quick taste:

Jimmy said, "Shit," looked down at Ag, who'd gotten to her knees. He could have changed his mind, then, and everything that came after would have been different. He hesitated, then pointed the gun at Ag's head and pulled the trigger.

The Smith flashed in the dark, Ag went down, and Jimmy ran after the others.

Tom and Becky had already gone through the front door, which stood open to the streetlight, and as Jimmy crossed the front porch he heard the other sister scream, "Mama, mama. He killed Ag, he killed Ag."

If you’re a Sandfordian, read Mad River. If you’re not, you will be. So start today.

Keep in mind, while doing so, that the killing-spree-by-mad-teens theme has been done before, but this author is so very, very good that it’ll feel like a fresh, new topic.

What’s more, this isn’t a whodunnit. It’s an intelligently written police procedural with a host of eccentric characters. As one reviewer puts it, Sandford’s novels aren’t “mysteries in the sense that there is anything for us to figure out… Crimes are solved through interviews, and require legwork and street smarts rather than science and tech. The appeal [is in] watching the protagonist close in on the criminals.”

Especially when he brings in a prison full of convicts as ‘consultants’. Genius.

www.tiffanymarkman.co.za

Stolen Prey (John Sandford)

So here’s the back cover blurb:

"Lucas Davenport has seen many terrible murder scenes. This is one of the worst. In the Minnesota town of Wayzata, an entire family has been killed — husband, wife, two kids, dogs. On the wall, in blood: "Were coming." No apostrophe."

It’s that apostrophe that would have hooked me, even if I didn’t already love John Sandford, who’s written a novel a year since the Ark. Buuut, this isn’t his finest work.

The Prey series, of which this is #22, is a whole lot of edgy police drama in which Lucas Davenport is a snarky, quick-witted lunatic. He’s getting old, fine, but he’s also starting to spend a lot of time on the details – like, in this book, turning cash into gold.

I preferred the old Lucas. So, here’s my take... 

I’ve enjoyed it. It’s pretty good. I love this sort of thing. But it didn’t rock my world. If you’re already a Sandford fan, read it. May as well. If you’re not and you spot it in a second-hand store, on sale on Kindle or on a friend’s shelf, don't worry – Stolen Prey works well as a stand-alone for the uninitiated.

But know that there are better novels in this series, and that John Sandford (whose real name is John Camp) isn’t a Pulitzer Prize winner for nothing.

www.tiffanymarkman.co.za

My July book reviews on 101.9 ChaiFM

Howzit.

So today I was interviewed by the lovely Niki Seberini on the ChaiFM Books Show.

My review choices were eclectic: one kiddie book, one non-fiction moms' handbook, one behind-the-scenes, one memoir and one crime fiction novel.

And of the five, I loved two and liked three.

Here they come...

www.tiffanymarkman.co.za

Salvation in Death (JD Robb)

Available at all good bookstores, courtesy of Penguin Books South Africa

JD Robb is one of my favourite, favourite, favourite authors. Despite the fact that she's really Nora Roberts and I don't like Nora Roberts' books at all. That little nom-de-plumary tidbit notwithstanding, JD Robb's futuristic murder books, the ... In Death series, featuring the superb Lieutenant Eve Dallas, are so fabulous that I named my kitten Dallas.

But... For a while now she's been getting tired. JD Robb, I mean, not Eve Dallas or (Oh, I wish!) my kitten. And her novels started to head off in the direction of formulaic and not a little bit trite. So you can imagine my joy when I read her penultimate offering, Salvation in Death, and found it fresh, clever, and fully capable of standing on its own even without the rest of the series behind it.

Yay!

This, the story of a priest who dies a grisly and public death when he sips from a poisoned chalice, is new in its setting and style. It is fresh in its detail and in the clever way it weaves the whodunnit web around the unsuspecting reader. It's great. But (and this is my only reservation) I'm growing a little tired of Dallas' past finding its way into every book...

Surely she wasn't connected to everyone on earth when she was eight years old and tormented by her drunken father?

If you're new to Robb, this is a great start. If you're a Robb fan, this'll reassure you that she's more or less back on track. But if you staunchly dislike like books set in the 2070s and you can't open up enough to try just one, read Coben or Siegel or Fairstein or Deaver instead.

www.tiffanymarkman.co.za