24 July 2012

I Hate Everyone, Starting With Me (Joan Rivers)

In I Hate Everyone, Joan Rivers dishes on all the things she hates. With her usual shocking honesty, political incorrectness and multiple swearwords. This book is a long list of Joan’s grave irritations, which include old people, dating and Anne Frank.

Here's an excerpt:

“For those of you thinking, Geez, Joan seems a little angry, you’re half right. I am angry. I’m also fed up. I’m fed up with the morons and losers and cretins who are cluttering up the planet. But being fed up and angry is better than being depressed. Psychologists tell us that depression is just anger turned inward, but I say, why waste your time? It is what it is and quite frankly I’d rather be angry than depressed. Why? Because antidepressants can cause bloating—and I hate bloating! (I need to go back and add bloating to the list of things I hate. Is there anything worse than not being able to fit into a size two Valentino? I think not. Talk about depressing.)”

What I’ve just read is the tamest thing in the book. If you’re easily offended, read something else. But remember what one reviewer said, ‘This is an awful book that’s so offensive I ought to throw it out the window. But I can't, ‘cos I can't stop laughing.’

To go back a bit, Joan Rivers is an award-winning entertainment person – actress, talk show host, comedian. She’s also that woman on the red carpets and on E!’s Fashion Police with the frightening plastic surgery. She’s 79 and looks like a 69-year-old who’s had frightening plastic surgery. But she’s really, really funny…

On TV. Not so much in writing, where every paragraph has a punchline. Don’t get me wrong: I love Joan. But this book should perhaps have been a DVD.

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