I'll Catch You (Jesse Kellerman)

This novel is, in a word, dreadful. In fact, the entire time I was reading it, I wondered if it was the writer's idea of a joke. 

And then, in preparation for my review, I looked up some of the author's inspiration for I'll Catch You: 

"This book started as a joke. I was at work on something much longer and darker, and to relieve some of the mental pressure I started noodling around with an idea that had occurred to me late one night while on tour for The Executor: to write a book that functions simultaneously as a thriller and a parody of a thriller."

Makes sense. But may I suggest that the next time Jesse Kellerman feels the urge to make a joke, he not burden the reading public with it in print form. That's what blogs are for. 

This book is, seriously, a waste of good trees. Simple as that. If you don't believe me, make your decision based on the blurb (which should warn you):

"We want to tell you more about this novel. We wish we could explain how spectacular and absolutely unexpected it is; how it will burn itself onto your brain for ever. But we could never do it justice. The only way you'll understand it is to read it."

Whatever. The bottom line is that if I'd known what it was about, I'd not have read it. Especially not after Kellerman's execrable The Executor. Don't believe me? Well, here's the actual plot:
 
When the world's bestselling writer of spy thrillers, William de Vallée, vanishes from his yacht while sailing, his estranged best friend and (unsuccessful) fellow writer Arthur Pfefferkorn decides to pick up where de Vallée left off - with an unfinished final manuscript and a beautiful widow. But this impulsive decision is about to change his life for ever, as he becomes embroiled in the political intrigues of East and West Zlabia - and learns to speak, think and eat Zlabian.

This book is dire. Sorry.

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